As humans, we have a natural tendency to compare our surroundings and draw contrasts. This inclination is influenced by our perspective on life: whether we're engaging in short-term, finite games or embracing the infinite game mindset (popularized by Simon Sinek as linked below).
When we direct our focus inward, concentrating on personal growth and qualities, we escape the trap of constant comparison with others. This habit of external comparison often begins with basic aspects like clothing, food, and living arrangements and could become an endless loop. This is particularly true for children who readily internalize such comparisons, fall into this pattern, and yield to peer pressure.
One of the conversations that I had with a friend serves as a good reminder : she encountered health issues at a very young age due to her drive to outshine her peers and prove her intelligence and affluence within her family circle. This prompts a significant question: For whose benefit, is this game of comparison?
Society has established a set of norms and expectations, such as associating intelligence with employment at multinational corporations, owning a car by a certain age, acquiring property, and having a substantial financial cushion before starting a family etc., Children, too, get caught up in the cycle, aspiring to possess the same items or experiences as their peers.
Regrettably, parents also tend to encourage this behavior without questioning its rationale. This trajectory often follows a predictable pattern: striving for academic excellence to secure a top rank, joining a company due to societal norms, purchasing a house to fulfill expectations, and toiling further to meet financial commitments, only to realize the true meaning of life is lost in this race. It underlines the importance of genuine necessity, understanding the driving forces behind, and take decisions based on the need.
Considering the purpose of a student life where the primary objective is in acquiring knowledge and honing skills and the focus is directed inwards rather than worldly affairs.
For instance, let’s consider a few comparisons based on the values combined with a healthy mindset:
1. Observing someone's ability in handling people with compassion and empathy, and aspiring to learn from them.
2. Noticing someone's humility and aiming to cultivate the same trait, regardless of their knowledge or position.
3. Recognizing the skill of building relationships and seeking to develop this skill within oneself.
4. Taking pride in a friend who willingly shares responsibilities and lends a helping hand, and desiring to learn from their example.
This type of comparison, grounded in skills and talents, differs significantly from a focus on material possessions. It also helps to shift the focus from shallow gossip and surface level comparisons or negative self-perception to meaningful dialogues that nurtures relationships and focus on genuine personal growth and development. Moreover, when fueled by genuine inner necessity, it proves to be constructive in uplifting one’s own life and others around.
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