The journey through adolescence can be challenging for both teenagers and their parents. As adolescents experience significant physical, emotional, and neurological changes, it’s a time of intense growth and development. During these turbulent years, one crucial aspect is cultivating accountability—a skill that can significantly impact their future success and well-being.
Often, parents express frustration when their teens struggle with accountability and not taking responsibility for their actions. Many parents assume this will resolve over time. But is it fair enough to expect different results without changing our action?
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Common challenges include:
Procrastination: Not completing tasks on time.
Blaming Others: Shifting responsibility for outcomes onto others.
Superficial Effort: Engaging in activities without genuine commitment.
Without becoming aware of it, these practises continue throughout school, college and eventually show up at workplace and personal life too. In my conversation with a few Entrepreneurs/ Founders, they express challenges with employees lacking accountability for their work.
Accountability is a skill that comes from within and grows with a sense of self-awareness. And, it is beyond the external dynamics of academics, marks, position etc., Several factors can contribute to lack of accountability:
Unawareness of Responsibilities: Teenagers may not fully grasp their own duties or the consequences of their actions. In many cultures, young age has always been dedicated to developing skills and knowledge. Learning by listening, studying, observing, doing etc., are all part of honing these skills. Skills like accountability are better learnt by doing. Being unaware of their responsibilities leads to lack of enthusiasm, lack of clarity and disengagement. They may struggle to grasp the importance of accountability and how their actions impact themselves and others.
Lack of Belonging: For anyone to thrive in any environment, sense of belonging is of utmost importance. Feeling disconnected from their environment can lead to disengagement and a lack of commitment. During their formative years of identity development, lack of belonging at home could lead to more disconnect further undermining their motivation to embrace accountability.
Sense of Entitlement: Overestimation of what they deserve without recognising their own contributions can undermine responsibility. When individuals believe they are inherently deserving of certain outcomes or privileges without acknowledging their efforts or responsibilities, it can lead to a diminished understanding of accountability.
Strategies for parents to consider to develop a sense of accountability:
Lead by example: Have open conversation about your own responsibilities and demonstrate accountability in your actions and also articulate it to them on how you feel responsible. As an example, you might say: “ I am responsible for taking care of our well-being and so I cannot afford to buying junk food that has an impact on our health.”
Develop shared responsibilities: Develop a sense of shared responsibilities to contribute to household chores/ family responsibilities. This helps to develop a sense of working together and understanding of how their effort contributes to family functioning. It also helps them to understand how everyone has a role to play for effective functioning and makes them feel good that they are contributing.
Encourage personal responsibility: Help your teenager identify and outline their responsibilities in different roles—such as being a student or a family member. Irrespective of the role they play, every role comes with certain responsibilities during every stage of life. By encouraging to take up responsibilities for their action, it helps them to develop a sense of ownership in what they are doing.
Find an accountability partner: Support your teenager by encouraging them to find a senior or coach/mentor who can help them stay on track and provide guidance/feedback through their developmental years. Supportive environment without judgement helps to learn without fear encouraging openness and honesty.
Things that look obvious to parents might not look very obvious to them. Teaching accountability is not about forcing or punishing or criticising. It’s more about encouraging them to be responsible for their actions in life. It helps them to grow as responsible individuals silently giving room to develop various other life skills like confidence, time management, organizing etc.,. By implementing these strategies, you can help them build a solid foundation for their life.
It’s better to address these now than never !
Please do share on what technique works for you?
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